Happily Everafter

                        And they lived happily ever after.

How many times did we not come across this sentence since childhood?

As a kid, when my mom used to end a story with the above sentence,
I’d continue imagining the story further, with the characters midst sunshine, rainbows, castles, unicorns, bunnies and what-not, believing in happy endings. (Umm,.. actually I don’t remember! Did I? Let’s just say I did :D)

I’d imagine the happy ending to be, my family moving into a castle and me ending up being treated as a royalty. (Umm, I still wonder why I wanted to be a Vet in spite of being a royalty!)

As I grew up (to be a god-save-my-mom-teenager!), happy endings were finding a best friend for life, saying witty remarks in front of crushes, or having pani puris every evening, a good haircut,  also, bunking  school classes and completing high school. In all of those moments, I thought life cannot get better. 

                                       Not until my Grandpa passed away. It was a blow for the entire family. I had to reconsider my opinion on Happy Endings.

Then, I wanted to be someone who my Grandpa would be proud of. Yes, I thought that would be my happy ending. (I still don’t know if I made it.)

As I grew up (thankfully, without turning into a belieber, :P), I forgot about the thought itself. 

The reason being, I've had good friends and a great time. My college life (which mostly had nothing to do with the college and most of the people in it) was all about having FUN with my best friends, cursing college and lecturers, sharing despairs, gossip, hangouts and the best of all-Sleepovers!

                     

In the first few years of engineering, my happy ending was surely to get a good job, go shopping all the time and spend gala time with family and friends, and finally find somebody who loves me the way I love them (I find the last sentence a little desperate, but hey! it’s just how everyone wants a happy ending to be. Finding that someone.).

It’s been more than three years now, since I've last imagined my happy ending in life. 

3 years back, I imagined all of the above, would be my best happily ever after.
Now, I did not lose much. I have a job, and I do get to spend gala time with my family and friends (which is rare). No complaints.

                                

It’s the way I perceive Happy Ending, these days.
If what I have is a happy ending, then why do I have second thoughts about it (at times)?

And, what if I did find that special someone and that person is already somebody else’s? Or worse, doesn't give a damn about me? It would all end in tears.

I hardly get time, to go meet my brother in Chennai. It’s been almost two years since I've been there. It’s always he who takes time to come meet me and my family.

There was a time when I used to fill my diary, every day, I’d draw comics, write short stories (or at least, used to come up with good story lines) and write articles. Life was good. 

Life is still good. But, these days, I don’t have time to be there for people who matter to me, when they need me the most. I feel selfish and horrible to be doing to this to everyone around me.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. And I’m all the more happy, that I’m still happily single and get to live life on my own terms. I have great friends who listen to my cribbing and a happy home to go back to every evening.

It’s now that phase in my life, where I don’t know what I want and don’t.

Is this my happy ending?

Or is it lurking in the future?

If this is the perfect ending, then, am I going greedy?
SIGH!